On His Doggy

Shawners: Brownie learn to eat paper so you will be the exact same thing as me, you have brown eyes, except you can’t eat gum.

On Being Beautiful

Can I just freeze in this moment of Shawn telling me as I walk down the stairs makeup less. "Mom, you look beautiful!" What makes me smile even more is who he learned to do that from.

On Tooting

Shawners: I set a death trap in my room.

Me: For who?

Shawners: I tooted badly [with a huge smile while waving his hand in front of his face and wrinkling up his nose].

Talking to Justinb in the back of the car.

Shawners: Put it in the middle, Mr. Crab.

Justinb: Stop calling me names.

Shawners: I didn't call you Mr. Crab.

No wait.

I did call you Mr. Crab.

Later:

Shawners: Mommy, my tummy felt like a rotten egg today.

Me: Did it really?

Shawners: No.